


I Swear I'm not an Alcoholic

by engineering_madonna



Series: Ram and King's Adventures in Miscommunication [1]
Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Denial of Feelings, Friends to Lovers, M/M, king is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25791652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engineering_madonna/pseuds/engineering_madonna
Summary: If King was going to be honest with himself, this was probably the stupidest thing he’d ever done. He couldn’t even blame the alcohol, having taken all of one shot, which he’d mostly just swished around his mouth so that if Ram were to question anything, the taste of whiskey on King’s tongue would at the very least cause him to pause before believing that King was doing this with a clear mind and clearer intentions.So here King was, stone cold sober, sitting in Ram’s lap of all places, with his tongue firmly shoved into the younger man’s mouth.King may or may not be faking being drunk in order to keep kissing Ram. Based mostly off this post on tumblr https://gradienta.tumblr.com/post/619551327132024832/ramking
Relationships: King/Ram (My Engineer)
Series: Ram and King's Adventures in Miscommunication [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891606
Comments: 20
Kudos: 219





	I Swear I'm not an Alcoholic

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, first fan fiction I've written since high school, which was...some years ago. Whether it is okay or not, it was fun to write. Hope you enjoy!

If King was going to be honest with himself, this was probably the stupidest thing he’d ever done. He couldn’t even blame the alcohol, having taken all of one shot, which he’d mostly just swished around his mouth so that if Ram were to question anything, the taste of whiskey on King’s tongue would at the very least cause him to pause before believing that King was doing this with a clear mind and clearer intentions. 

So here King was, stone cold sober, sitting in Ram’s lap of all places, with his tongue firmly shoved into the younger man’s mouth. With what little brain capacity King was capable of with Ram’s fingers dragging through his hair, causing the most delightful tingle to go up and down his spine, King had to wonder how he had let it get this far.  
-  
The first time, King hadn’t had any ulterior motive going into it. He’d come back from his grandmother’s house, fully prepared to pretend like absolutely nothing had happened, Ram remembering everything be damned. King never admitted to knowing anything, he could keep up the charade that Ram had decidedly left behind. He’d walked into the condo, ready to face the other man and then, well then he’d panicked.

There Ram was, hair free of gel in the way King would never admit made him look both sexy as hell and adorable in equal strides, watering King’s plants (incorrectly, but that wasn’t the point), which was an image that was so incredibly endearing, yet also, in a way that King would really not like to analyze, kind of arousing. So King did what any rational human being would do and ran to his bedroom, texted Bohn that they were going to a bar immediately and if he didn’t meet him there in exactly 30 minutes, King would send every embarrassing picture he possessed of Bohn to Duen. Unsurprisingly, Bohn, out of the kindness of his own heart, agreed.

With a fairly unconvincing excuse that Bohn had begged him to go out, King rushed an awkward goodbye to a stoic Ram who didn’t seem to be buying any of it, and then left as fast as he could.  
King proceeded to then get very very drunk.

He’s not sure why he did it once Bohn had finally dragged King home. He isn’t sure how Bohn reacted in the moment to Ram being inside the condo, ready and willing to take the weight of an incredibly inebriated King. Whatever the case, King somehow found himself hanging off the shoulder of the very man he’d spent his entire evening trying to forget.  
Except this King, this loose, drunk King had somehow forgotten why he had done that. This King was brave and stupid and Ram still had his hair down and still looked so breathtakingly beautiful. And maybe it was the alcohol or maybe he was just drunk on Ram, but King, who had somehow forgotten how to walk properly even when sober over the last week or so, had tripped over his own feet on the way to the couch, and was caught unceremoniously by Ram. 

They stood like that for a moment, wide eyed and unblinking, sharing each other’s breaths, Ram’s arms wrapped tight around King’s waist. It was in this moment that stupid, drunk King once again couldn’t handle all these intense feelings for the man in front of him. Unlike last time though, he didn’t precede this kiss with a speech about feelings, thank goodness, but he did kiss Ram with the same forcefulness as the previous incident.

It hurt, his heart and his mouth. Next time this happened (next time?), King thought, he really should go in a little gentler. Ram, for his part, didn’t seem to question this state of affairs and kissed back with the same amount of passion as he had that night in the tent, which was nice and made King’s heart (and other places) feel all kinds of things. Unfortunately for King, the same alcohol that had given him the impulsive drive to kiss Ram, which had paid off quite nicely, also left him incredibly uncoordinated. So when his idiot drunk brain decided this would be one hundred times better laying down and he should start leading Ram to the other room, he’d stepped back and tripped over something, probably himself again, and managed to knock his already damaged head on the coffee table. Whatever could have transpired that night was abruptly cut short and was replaced by a panicked and fretting Ram and an incapacitated King.

All in all, it was an eventful night that hungover and possibly concussed King of the morning somehow still remembered perfectly. How was it possible after all that? King had to be cursed with what had to be the most untouchable memory of any drunk person ever. Not only had King kissed Ram again, he’d then brained himself on a hard object in front of the other man another time. If Ram had any feelings at all for King, those were probably long gone after watching King be so inept at the simple task of being a functioning human being.

When King finally got up, Ram was there with some pain killers, a delicious hangover breakfast, and the cutest little hopeful smile that King had ever seen. So, like any normal person who’d just kissed the person they were in love with, and who had enthusiastically been kissed back by said person, he played dumb.

“So uh, my brain hurts like hell, what happened last night?” At that, the smile that Ram had been sporting dropped into something akin to disappointment before turning stoic, leaving King breathless in a completely different way than last night. This was for the best, rationalized King, as guilt ravaged his entire body. He didn’t want either of them to hurt any more than they already had, so even if Ram had feelings, it was better for him not to end up with the human dumpster fire that King had become.

“You don’t remember anything? Nothing at all?” Ram pushed. But King, stubborn and clinging to the ridiculous idea that Ram didn’t and shouldn’t want him, simply shook his head. So that was that, and after a couple awkward, painful hours, things mostly went back to normal.  
-  
Except they didn’t. There seemed to be this tension between them after that. A tension that filled the room and suffocated King whenever Ram got too close. A tension that became so thick that finally one night about a week later, King couldn’t take looking at Ram’s puppy eyes anymore. 

He convinced Boss almost too easily to go out with him. Where Boss went, Mek went too, and then Tee was coming, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. And then Bohn, who had the night open because Duen was busy doing something, King didn’t really care what, had decided to join them. It was nice being surrounded by his friends again. Almost like it was before Bohn had run after some rose toting freshman and King had seen the most alluring person on earth through a library shelf.

“Since when are you dating Ram?” Bohn, who leaned in so the others couldn’t hear him, asked King, who was not nearly drunk enough for this conversation.

“I’m not dating Ram. Why would you think that?” Which was a stupid question since even though they weren’t dating, Bohn had obviously seen that Ram was not only quite comfortable in King’s space, but also quite obviously staying in his condo. The way Bohn raised his eyebrows in response only confirmed that Bohn, against what many might believe, was not an idiot. After a few more prodding questions about the exact relationship King shared with Ram, which were harder to answer than they should have been, Bohn gave up when Boss had loudly asked what they were talking about from his perch on Mek’s lap. King tried desperately not to think of how nice it would be to sit on Ram’s lap, or to have Ram sit on his lap, he wasn’t picky. Mostly King was successful. Mostly.

It was interesting that King at the beginning of the night had tried so hard to avoid any mention of Ram, when later on, when Bohn was once again carrying King home, all he could talk about was how pretty Ram was, how wonderful he was, how gorgeous his muscles were, how sexy his tattoos were, and a lot of other embarrassing and slightly objectifying things. And by interesting, King meant mortifying. He was pretty sure he confessed his undying love for Ram to Bohn, who was never going to let King live this down.

It was even more mortifying when King woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and an uncomfortable hardon, he remembered that after he had been dropped off at the condo, he’d wasted no time at all climbing onto Ram’s lap just like he’d wanted to all night. To add insult to injury, not only had he made himself at home on the man’s lap, he’d then kissed him with all the pent up desire he’d had inside him since the last time they’d kissed. At least this time King’s drunk self was able to use an ounce of judgment to not punch Ram in the face with his mouth.

It had been a slow kiss, warm and far too gentle. Ram had held him like at any moment King would disappear. Which, fair, King did have a habit of doing that lately.  
King groaned as he realized, not only had he kissed Ram again, he’d then fallen asleep in the other’s arms like a total weirdo. Why did Ram even put up with him, honestly.

Like the previous time, Ram once again had pain killers and breakfast, this time sans hopeful smile. Looking at Ram, King couldn’t help the nagging feeling that he’d really messed up this time. Not surprising, since he’d really messed up this time. 

It was then and there that King decided that he would not do this again, he would not get drunk and he would not kiss Ram.  
-  
Which lasted all of three days when he got drunk alone at the condo when Ram went home while his father was out for a few hours. When Ram had returned, King, brash and lonely, had slung his arms around Ram’s broad shoulders and kissed all the tension from the other man’s body.

After that, King went out a week later with friends, and a bit tipsy, but definitely not as drunk as he’d been the previous times, joined Ram on the couch upon returning home, placed his hand on Ram’s cheek and kissed him into the early morning until they both couldn’t stay awake any longer.

Another week later, King drank two beers, walked home, told Ram that he was probably the prettiest person he’d ever met, slurred his words purposefully, and pretended that he was actually drunk enough to do this, all the while kissing Ram’s mouth raw.

Five days after that, three days after that, and another week after that, he drank a beer or took a shot, rushed home, and well, King was self-aware enough to see a pattern where there was one.  
-  
“He obviously likes you back, why are you being so weird about this?” Bohn had a point. King really couldn’t come up with any excuse that made sense anymore. Ram wouldn’t kiss back as many times as he had if his feelings for King had been purely platonic.

“I just,” King stalled, staring at the same bottle of beer he’d been nursing for the last hour, “I just don’t want to ruin things.” 

Bohn sighed, rolling his eyes, “What is that even supposed to mean?”

King looked up at the ceiling, anything to not look Bohn in the eye. “He’s had a lot on his plate, he doesn’t need to add me to the mix.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Bohn leaned over the table flicked King’s forehead, “but you seem to be pretty mixed up with him already.”

“First of all, ow you asshole, I’ve had brain damage recently.” Bohn shrugged indifferently, King continued, “Second of all, what if I say something and it’s like the spell is broken, and whatever this thing that we’ve got going just stops? And what if, not only does this stop, but whatever friendship we’ve built up disappears too?”

For the first time all evening, Bohn’s eyes softened. King had never seen his friend look at him like that, it was disconcerting.  
“Ow! Why the fuck would you slap me?”

“Get that stupid look off your face, you’re looking at me like I’m pathetic.”

Rubbing his cheek, Bohn grumbled, “You are pathetic.” King yelped in indignation while Bohn held up with his hand to silence him, continuing, “Look, you can listen to me or can you choose to ignore me, but sometimes you’ve got to take a chance. Hey, don’t give me that look. I took a chance on Duen, Mek took a chance on Boss and sort of vice versa, and you can take a chance on Ram.”

For a moment, tears almost prickled at King’s eyes. He coughed to hide it, but he could tell that Bohn had noticed and had mercifully decided to say nothing about it. Sometimes King forgot why Bohn was his best friend, but in moments like this, he was really grateful he had him in his life.

“So just out of curiosity, is Ram as quiet in the bedroom as he is out of it?”

Never mind, Bohn was an awful friend.  
-  
King would like to say that he’d returned to the condo that night, run into Ram’s arms and finally admitted to everything. He’d like to say that he told Ram exactly how he felt about him, asked him to be his boyfriend, and ended the night with a kiss not tainted by alcohol or lies. King would like to say that, but he can’t because when he got home after drinking one beer, absolutely drunk on nothing, he’d looked at Ram and fallen into the same pattern of kiss, play drunk, pretend to forget, lather, rinse, repeat.  
-  
So here he was, another two weeks later, two more make out sessions under their belts, with one shot of whiskey barely doing anything to his system. While he was ruminating on everything else, he wondered if Ram was starting to think King had become an alcoholic recently, with how often King was pretending to be drunk.

Suddenly the lips that had been so delightfully fastened to his own, were gone, leaving King cold and empty. He found himself making a truly embarrassing whining noise before he could really think about it. Drunk or not, King was a mess.

“I know you’re not drunk, you know.” Oh if that wasn’t a punch to the gut, King didn’t know what was. Everything froze for a moment before King quickly made the move to get off Ram, who seemed to know that King would do that even before he’d started and held him down with two strong hands.

“You’re not going anywhere; we need to talk about this.” Well how the turn tables had turned. Ram was the one who wanted to talk, of course that would happen now. Finally caught, though King was sure now that he’d been caught from the very beginning, he rested his forehead against Ram’s shoulder to avoid looking at him.

“Cool Boy, can’t we just keep kissing and pretend like you didn’t say any of that?” King felt Ram slump underneath him and knew immediately that he’d said the exact wrong thing. Oh well, that was King, king (ha!) of wrong things lately.

“P’King, please look at me.” Ah hell, King couldn’t deny Ram anything if he tried, especially when he said something in such a soft, pleading way. Against his better judgement, he finally untucked himself from against Ram, though remained looking anywhere but Ram’s eyes.

Ram sighed and shook his head. “I suppose that’s the best I’m going to get from you right now, isn’t it?” King shrugged, not wanting to see the disappointment on Ram’s face. “If it really makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to look at me, just please talk to me.” It was that statement that finally made King look at him. Here this boy was, never forcing King to do anything he didn’t want to. Only ever being kind and caring. It made King want to cry.

Unlike what King had assumed, Ram did not look disappointed or angry or any negative emotion really. In fact, Ram was giving King that same hopeful small smile he’d given him that morning after the second drunken kiss.

Ram’s fingers brushed along King’s cheek until he was cupping it with his hand. It was so warm and comforting, King couldn’t help but lean into it.  
“Why are you pretending to be drunk to kiss me?” King sighed. That was the question, wasn’t it. He’d told Bohn, but even that sounded more and more like an excuse. Reaching up, King grabbed Ram’s hand and held it, hoping the distraction would help him get through the next few minutes.

“I wasn’t pretending to be drunk the first few times.”

“But you pretended to forget.” Of course Ram could see through him this whole time, fantastic. 

Swallowing hard, King nodded, “Yes, I pretended to forget.”

Ram sat patiently as King tried to collect himself. Giving King a half smile and nod, he urged King to continue once it seemed King had had enough time to get over the mild panic he’d had after saying those words.

“I didn’t mean to kiss you the first time in the tent or the second time when I came back from my grandma’s. I just, I don’t know, I just was feeling so much that all I could think of was letting it out some way.”

“Why did you start playing drunk then?”

King rubbed his face. Why couldn’t they just go back to kissing? That would be so much easier.

“I started pretending I was drunk because it felt like it was the only time I could kiss you or get close to you like I wanted to. Don’t make that face, I know if sounds stupid, but it really felt like that.”

“You have to know I would have kissed you if you’d just asked.” Ram eyebrows were furrowed, giving his face an adorable pout. King smoothed the line between Ram’s eyebrows with his finger.

“You’ll get wrinkles.”

“You’re evading, P’King.” Clever boy.

“I was just messing up over and over again, and I didn’t want to make things harder for you after your dad, but I couldn’t hold back anymore, so pretending I forgot and giving us both an out seemed like the best course of action.” Suddenly, King was wrapped in two strong arms. For the first time since this conversation started, King felt himself relax.

Ram huffed into King’s shoulder, shaking his head. “You ridiculous man. You have never made things harder for me, and I have never needed or wanted an out from whatever it is we’ve got between us. You have to know that you make everything better, I mean that.”

King felt the telltale prickling in his eyes and he fought to hold back his tears. This was the longest sentence Ram had ever said to him and it was pulling at all the heartstrings. Rubbing his face against Ram’s neck, he laughed wetly. “I think I’ve been an idiot.”

“You have,” Ram agreed. 

King sat up swiftly. “You don’t have to agree so easily.” 

Ram laughed and King had never heard anything sweeter. Suddenly something occurred to him.

“Ow, why’d you do that?” Ram looked taken aback, rubbing his arm where King had shoved it. 

“You knew this whole time and you waited until now to say something?”

It was Ram’s turn to not look King in the eye, his pale cheeks quickly turning bright red. “I, uh, I liked kissing you and I thought if I said something, you’d stop.”

King blinked, thought for a moment, and then began to laugh hysterically. How could he have been so stupid? Wiping his eyes, he finally smiled warmly at a still blushing Ram, who seemed to be trying his hardest not to smile back.

“What a pair we are, huh.” Ram finally lost the battle he was having with his mouth, and smiled, affection clearly shown brightly in his eyes. King felt a surreal giddiness well up within him at the sight, bursting through his chest, and making his whole body warm and weightless with it. It made him feel at peace. It made him feel foolish and brave in a way alcohol only really could before this.

“So Cool Boy,” King grinned mischievously, “can I kiss you?”

Ram laughed and rolled his eyes, but still nodded and leaned forward to capture King’s lips with his own.

So here King was, stone cold sober, sitting in Ram’s lap of all places, and as they kissed, for once it didn’t taste of alcohol or deception, but of hope and new beginnings.

“Can you actually brush your teeth? You taste like you gargled lighter fluid.”

Okay, so it tasted a little like alcohol.  
-  
End

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think Bohn ranted a little about King to Duen who not so subtly pushed Ram to admit he knew everything to King. Sorry if there are any spelling or grammar errors, I tried my best to read through it to find any.


End file.
